So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize