Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize