take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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