My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
