it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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