our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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