Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
