The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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