I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
