I swear she didn't look like that last week.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
