Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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