I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Is it because I queefed?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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