At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is Oprah even human
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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