She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
