Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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