This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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