Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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