you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
