whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
