I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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