i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
