Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
