Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
