you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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