We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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