who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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