This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
