i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
