haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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