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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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