Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
