he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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