Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
