So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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