I'm going to jail i love you
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
