Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
