we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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