my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
