In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
