ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
