I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
