she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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