he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
