Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you inspire me to be a worse person
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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