OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
