my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize