i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
what day is it and did you see me today?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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