Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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