That's intense
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
