We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
