im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
