I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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