im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
