I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize