So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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