I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
