Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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