Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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