Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
